My personal favorites were articles on stress management that I managed to stumble upon. One site informed me that I need to learn to say no. How in the world do I say no to my boss when I’m feeling overwhelmed. That may hold true for biting off more than you can chew in your life outside of work, but I’m sure if I said no to my boss, I’d be reading the employment section. Many of the articles on stress control had some great tips as to how to maintain your cool. Getting organized and staying on top of projects and situations is not only a great tip for managing stress but for your everyday life! Truly though, the best of all the articles on stress control talks about how to let go of the irrational concept that people should be stress-free. That’s impossible. Stress exists all around us each and every day. We all just need to learn how to manage that tension better.

I found that a variety of magazines have useful articles on stress as well. Most of the tips all focus on the same concepts – breathing, counting to 10 and taking time to focus on your own self. While all of those suggestions are probably more helpful to others than they are for me, I’d rather read some articles on stress elimination. I don’t even know if there are any suggestions out there for that, but if there are, sign me up!

In my investigating, some of the articles on stress management suggest taking relaxing vacations to remove yourself from the situation. For those of us who live paycheck to paycheck, that isn’t always a possibility. Nowhere in any of those articles on stress did they make a suggestion as to how I can afford to take a vacation without incurring any additional financial stress. If you’re looking for ways to manage your stress, be sure to find some methods that are practical for you and your lifestyle. Don’t accrue any additional financial stress that will harm you more in the long run.

There are so many reasons that anxiety and panic creeps into our lives. It could be something very simple, such as spilling a cup of coffee. It could be something very emotional like a death within the family. On some days, you are able to laugh off that spilled cup of coffee, the very next day that same incident might make you burst into tears. Since every person has their own triggers for stress that means that every person also has their own ways of controlling anxiety as well. People who deal with anxiety find themselves becoming drained emotionally and physically exhausted.

Controlling anxiety should start with the thought process. In time, you learn to feel yourself becoming anxious and panicky. You are able to realize it’s happening, but the mere thought of how to get past it terrifies you. You need to redirect your thoughts the moment you feel the symptoms gripping you. Anxiety causes negative thoughts and reactions, but it doesn’t have to.

When you know you are dealing with anxiety, fight like crazy to push those negative thoughts aside. I know, that’s easier said than done. And it may seem almost impossible to do, but it is possible! I’m not going to say that it’s not a struggle, because it is. Eventually, controlling anxiety is something you can conquer. It’s very easy to let negative thoughts creep into your mind. Once you learn to recognize the onset of your symptoms, learn to breathe. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Talk yourself through the occurrence with positive thoughts. Tell yourself that this is something
you will control, you will not let it control you.

The most important actor of controlling anxiety is relaxation! You are required to relax! Find something to do every single day, for at least 15 minutes, that requires very little thought. You could listen to music, practice yoga, soak in a warm bath, or curl up with a great book. Taking the time to cater to yourself and let your mind and body unwind is incredibly essential. It’s important for people who don’t struggle with anxiety as well. I never thought that I had time to relax. I worked full-time, took care of my children in the evenings, catered to my husband, cooked and cleaned, and very rarely focused on myself. I forced myself to start taking late evening walks. The fresh air cleared my mind and the physical exercise did wonders for my self-esteem. That time to myself became a key in controlling anxiety. I learned that I was in control. That’s what controlling anxiety is about – learning to recognize it before it takes over, and convincing yourself that you can and will beat it. Everything starts from your thoughts. Relax and give yourself more time.

That said, so those of us borderline hypochondriacs who find a new malady once a week will be spared the panic of said information on schizophrenia, here are the clinical details of the disorder once termed Dementia Praecox (and coined schizophrenie, from the Greek, split mind, by Bleuler in the early 1900s):

While for decades, schizophrenia was categorized into Hebephrenia, Catatonia, and other separate schizophrenias, today many specialists understand schizophrenia in general to include symptoms such as hallucinating, experiencing delusions, having derailed or incoherent speech; and displaying what one expert identifies as grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior.

But further, mental health professionals categorize their information on schizophrenia in the following way, according to their assertion that there are five recognized subtypes of schizophrenia which are 1) paranoid schizophrenia, 2) disorganized schizophrenia, 3) catatonic schizophrenia, 4) undifferentiated schizophrenia, and what they call 5) residual schizophrenia.

An individual with paranoid schizophrenia characteristically shows evidence of prominent delusions, those which are typically auditory and which usually come and go during an episode. The individual may experience delusions of grandeur (how great am I) or persecution (X is/are after me) or what doctors call command hallucinations, wherein someone or thing is commanding him or her to carry out untraditional, unusual, illogical, or illegal acts. Other symptoms for the paranoid schizophrenic include anxiety, fright, anger, apathy, and/or recalcitrance or an argumentative attitude.

An individual diagnosed with hebephrenic schizophrenia now called disorganized type will typically have flat (no) or inappropriate affect (laughing when there is no relevant humor, for instance), and will be disorganized in speech. Personal goals and abilities are limited, so the individual may be anything from unable to care for him- or herself to unable to sustain goal-oriented activities.

For more information on schizophrenia, check Mental Help Net; Health-X; Psych-net.uk; and then consider a personal doctor or referral to a specialist, so the suspected psychotic disorder can be tested and evaluated and, if necessary, treated. Waiting for more or all the symptoms is not encouraged. Early treatment can be everything.

General Anxiety Disorder, impacting approximately 500,000 people in the U. S. alone, is also called Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and consists of the following symptoms, which I will include in a scenario:

JJ anticipated EVERYthing, from what my boyfriend said about her after she left the room to what her grades would be like in graduate school, which was years away.

JJ would apologize for the exaggerated worrying she would do, over and over and over, and then worry that she had burdened me too much with her worrying ways.

JJ was hard to be with when she was in this state of General Anxiety Disorder, especially when we were just arriving somewhere and she was jacked up, shifting about in her seat, acting as if any minute someone would enter the restaurant, party, or even restful living room and kidnap her at gunpoint.

Then JJ would be exhausted, after having spent less than an hour at a store or movie, for example.  If we were studying, she stare off, expressing the feeling of having a blank head, kind of nub.  Or she would be grouchy as hell over the smallest, most insignificant things, over minutiae that hours earlier she had been all antsy about the outcome of.

And JJ slept very little the worry or restlessness eclipsing natural tiredness or normal falling-to-sleep habits/patterns. Sometimes, she would be sick to her stomach, literally.

She had trouble in her other social circles, at school, and at work. She would come over to hang out, and within a matter of minutes, was clutching my arm repeatedly and having me investigate outside for creatures or criminals or was interrogating me about my having once talked to her long-distance chat-room boyfriend, accusing me of starting my own affair with the guy.

On many occasions, however, you would have no clue that JJ suffered with or from General Anxiety Disorder. She was calm and confident and even supportive of others in their own life challenges. One day, I was amped up over a car accident (caused by a hit and run driver who slammed the hell out of me and had to be chased down). She gave me one of her pills (I know this aint legal. Let me be.) That pill had me flying! Turns out, it was Xanaxa medicine prescribed by her shrink for the General Anxiety Disorder.

I tell the symptoms by putting them in a narrative format because I am not a medical practitioner. But I would swear by that little pill, the size of half a jelly bean. Why worry? It is a condition no one should have to suffer, and no one should nurture or aggrandize, for, as I think it was Mark Twain who said Worry is an investment on a product/property you will never get to own. And that’s a paraphrased version, but I am not going to worry about it, especially after seeing what those with General Anxiety Disorder go through with worry, and especially since JJ will likely read this and do all the worrying all over again for me.

All these is very stressing to me but I know JJ feels much worst. To be worrying about everything altogether and most of the time. What we can do for people like JJ is to be supportive. Try not to do anything to make her worry or give her any stress.

Just as parents might put a toddler in time out, when the child needs to cool down, a parental time out is a good anger management tool. If possible, for a few minutes at the least, a couple of hours ideally, it’s good to get away from the children once in a while. A sitter, the other parent, a grandparent, or other responsible adult can provide the parent a needed break. Taking a break can really give anger and stress a chance to dissipate. A parent time out can be in a separate room for a few minutes of quiet. Just as it helps a young child who has acted out, even a few minutes of quiet can be a great anger management tool for an adult. A longer time can do even more. Just go to a peaceful place, such as a library, park, bookstore, or quiet restaurant or coffeehouse. Take some time for yourself, and you ll be surprised at how much it can help release the stress.

Anger management is also possible little by little throughout the day. Some slow, deep breaths can help an angry parent to get a grip on his emotions. It s often tempting to yell, or even to spank a child when provoked. Because parents love their children, and so desperately want their children to learn to be successful, good people, parents’ expectations are highest for their children. When children act against parents’ wishes, it provokes parental anger, so much more than other people’s children would. Parents who practice anger management techniques will find parenting easier and more enjoyable. Their children will also learn anger management techniques by watching their parents model them. Anger management, patience and a sense of humor can strengthen the healthy family environment.

Some of the churches offer classes for anger management. I have given a few classes. The parents are generally surprised that taking 5min of “time out” when the kids are throwing tantrums works wonder. I will advise parents with small kids especially to take a few hour off a week. This will help greatly in your parent-child relation.